April 22, 2010

All the single ladies...

So it's been like, forever since we've done one of these things~
So let's jump into this shit.

I moved back to Virginia.
My boyfriend broke up with me.
I don't understand why.
I'm such a loving and nice person.

Reader:: -raises eyebrow-
Me:: Fuck off. I can delude myself.

So what to talk about today?
What fails lately?

Fuck high school.
Fuck drama.
Fuck people.
Fuck supposed "best friends."

I would elaborate on all of that, but my goal is to rid my life of drama.
And elaborating might cause a little bit.
So I gotta stay hush hush on that.

But people at my school fail pretty fucking hard.

Adam West:: Would you like an example, I think you would.
Reader:: Adam... West? What are you doing here?
Adam West:: I was looking for my dog when I realized I don't have one, so I came here.
Reader:: .... Charlotte, you've fallen pretty far on the funny scale. Which is saying something.
Me:: Well, you're still reading this so obviously I'm doing something right.

So let me tell you this story.
All characters depicted in this story are entirely fictional, so don't think I'm talking about you.
Even though I am.

I was chilling, just minding my own business.
And then I realize I have to do my fucking homework.
Fail out the ass.
So I start doing it, you know.
Like the responsible teenager I am.
And this chick walks up.
I'mma call her Tasha.

Tasha:: What are you doing?
Me:: Homework.
Tasha:: Oh. Look, we're short a player. Wanna play Skip-Bo with us?
Me:: I'm doing homework.
Tasha:: When's it due?
Me:: Next class.
Tasha:: Oh, okay. Please play Skip-Bo?
Me:: .... I'd rather choke on glitter than try to explain that I have to do my homework to you.
Tasha:: You can do it next class.
Me:: No, I can't, now gtfo.
Tasha:: Whatever.

So she walks off to go play her stupid little card game while I work.
Then I hear her from across the room.
Talking about me.

Tasha:: She makes no sense and she's so stupid, blah blah blah shitty gossip talk.
Pink Ranger:: I know, why doesn't she just do her homework next class?
Tasha:: Maybe she thinks she's too good to play with us.
Red Ranger:: That's a laugh. Her being too good for anything is just hilarious.
Me [Loudly]:: Sorry I want to graduate the year I'm supposed to, Red Ranger. I know you failed in that task, but don't look down your nose at others trying.

For those of you unaware, the Red Ranger failed English. Twice. So she's supposed to be a senior but is, instead, only a sophomore.

Red Ranger:: If you have something to say, say it to my face.
Me [After looking up from my homework]:: Sorry I want to graduate the year I'm supposed to, Red Ranger. I know you failed in that task, but don't look down your nose at others trying. Is that better? Is that cool with you?
Red Ranger:: Whatever.
Me:: The perfect argument. "Whatever." Sorry, that statement is too logical for me to debate with any further.
Red Ranger:: Yeah.
Me:: /commences work.

So as if that wasn't bad enough, about fifteen minutes later I see the Power Pack fast at work writing something down.
I wasn't curious.
Not at all.
But I did kinda wonder what they were writing and laughing about while looking up at me every few seconds.

So the bell rings. We get ready to go.
Someone "accidentally" bumps into me.
I knew better.
Years of being bullied and teased has taught me better.
So I reach up and pull off a sign that says,
"I think I'm better than everyone else.
Please kick me to teach me a thing or two."

Huh. And it even had little doodles and meanie faces drawn on it.
Except they misspelled everyone. And two.
It really said, "i think im better then every1 else
please kick me 2 teach me a thing or too"

I shit you not.
Listen up, people.
If you're going to insult me via text,
Insult me with proper spelling and grammar.