January 31, 2011

To feel something.

So I'm doing better.
Way better.
And by way better, I mean just a little bit better.
I don't know what to make of life right now.
But I know that I don't want to stay here anymore.
When the weather gets warmer, I want to leave.
Just take off and go somewhere.
I'll make friends, I'll meet people.
I won't be me anymore.
I'll be changed.

I'll abandon everything, you know.
Just to travel about and learn more about myself.
Learn more about my fears.
About my past.
About what I want in my future.
I'll find new paths, and I will tread them all.

This isn't really a fail blog, ladies and gentlemen.
I have no humorous words to share.
I've been hurt.
I've been beaten.
And I want to see that there is something more out there.
I won't grow if I stay here.
I know that.
But I don't want to go alone.
At least, not at first.

I want someone to come with me.
Someone to abandon everything and just leave with me.
Until we're ready to go off on our own.
Tread our own paths.
If they cross again, then good.
But one does not go out into the world to see people they already know.


  1. Doesn't everyone feel like this? I don't know, I have the same feelings. It's like there's nothing here for me, for various reasons. My career choice is in computers and the only jobs around are all at defense contractors that like to kill people, something I have ethical problems with. The only time I ever seem to have fun is at cons, but I can't really afford more than one a year, and this katsu I blew my budget on something I hardly remember because it basically turned into one super ridiculous bender.

    You don't know me and I don't know you, but I have to admit that reading your blog made me laugh more than once. Your wit is a little bit better than you give yourself any credit for, and I wanted to thank you for brightening my night just a little bit.

    If you're curious how I even got here, I was hanging out with your crew in your room and I saw one of them post on one of my crew's FB post, found a group picture and I was a bit curious about someone who actually names their profile McSlutbutt. Classy. But whatever works for you, man.

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