December 27, 2009

Worst. Xmas. Ever.

Okay, so you guys wanna know how I spent my Christmas evening?
Writhing in pain in the bathroom.
Thanks for the food poisoning, Santa!
I really fucking appreciate it.

My body was so fucked up, man.
I lost 6 pounds in one night.
Now I know why chicks go bulimic.
Results, man.
Fucking results.

But, I am all better now.

And what have I got in store for you today?
Why, another fail story!

Reader:: HOSHIT, FAIL!!! YAY!!!!
Me:: Calm the fuck down.

So what's the fail story for today, you ask?

I went there last night to get my ass some medicine.
I get in line to check out, and we all know how the day after christmas lines are at Wal-Mart.
So after waiting 20 goddamn minutes, the chick starts ringing up my items.
Chicken Noodle Soup.
Cold Medicine.
Ramen Noodles.
Ice Cream.

Girl:: Do you need this medicine?
Me:: Uhh... Yeah.
Girl:: Do you have a fever?
Me:: Yes, I do.
Girl:: Did you like, drive here?
Me:: My boyfriend drove me.
Girl:: You need to be 18 to buy this medicine.
Me:: I am 18. -goes to get ID-
Girl:: I don't need to see your ID. -puts medicine away-
Me:: Look, are you my fucking doctor? No? Then give me the damn medicine.
Girl:: You must be 18 to buy this medicine, miss.
Me:: I am 18. Here's my ID.
Girl:: I don't need to see your ID. -rings up medicine and puts it in bag-
Me:: Thank you very fucking much. -pays and leaves-

Now this might not seem very fail to you.
But I mean what the HELL was wrong with this chick?
Firstly, she looked stoned to ba-jesus.
Secondly, she was fucking stupid.

This is why I hate Wal-Mart.
God damn.

Reader:: That's all? That's all you have to rant about today?
Me:: Yup.

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